The Oh, HorOHscope! Types
It's that personality filter you wish Instagram could adopt
I know that my product catalog can look so eclectic and overwhelming that it may just be easier to look for the one thing you came here for and bounce. However, I started the store specifically to help people find more items that could give them confidence in the real world and make them feel seen.
So, to help people find items they'll love, I created five personality types that sum up the different aesthetics you can find in the shop:
Bohemian • Goth • Trendy • Femme • Eclectic
Like a cheat code but better
If you take the quiz, you'll get a coupon code for 15% off all items that fit your HorOHscope, which can be used at any time.
The HorOH!scope! Types Explained
In their own words...or something like that
NATURAL • LIGHT • TEXTURAL • FLORAL
You make me feel like a natural theyman
Does your Spotify Wrapped consist of bands with banjos and soft vocals? Would the whispered sound of Sufjan Stevens ordering a fair trade oat milk latte be your idea of ASMR? Or do you just live in Tevas? No judgment here. You’re living your best life, and that’s either in the wilderness or dreaming of the next time you can be out there. I’m crossing my fingers you’ll get your dream of becoming Grandmother Willow (but not any time soon, you hear me?!).
EDGY • SHARP • TIMELESS • URBAN
Goth Girlfriend, All-Black Boyfriend,
and/or Noir Non-binary Partner
Few know the twin pleasure and pain of growing up with Hot Topic like you do. It can be hard to cultivate a counterculture aesthetic when the only place you can find is a corporate mall store nightmare (both before and after Christmas). Isn’t it nice to be an adult and be able to buy better things now? Indulge in your aesthetic, you little badass, you.
Femme Is So Fetch
GLAMOROUS • ORNATE • ELEGANT • BRIGHT
Being a princess is hard, but somebody has to do it
Whether you were told you were a girl when you were born or not, I am 87% sure you have gone off at somebody who called feminine fashion impractical, superficial, or anti-feminist. It can absolutely be radical and subvert the male gaze. It can also just be pretty and sparkly. Either way, you look so DAMN good. Where did you get those shoes?
Gucci Gang Gang
TRENDY • GEOMETRIC • STYLISH • MINIMALIST
En vogue but not in VogueTM-Copyright-etc
Have all your friends blocked you after your ninth “there are things wrong with the Met Gala but nobody knows what it actually is so you aren’t critiquing it correctly” rant? Me, too. Come, darling. Let us sit together and reminisce about Gucci’s McQueen era and decide which trendy colors and textures we love the most. It’s hard work being this cool, but somebody has to do it.
Manic Chintzy Dream Swirl
ECLECTIC • PATTERNED • ENERGETIC • COLORFUL
Fashion rules are meant to be broken
Your little heart screamed in joy when you saw the 90’s aesthetic become big again, right? Finally, people agree with you that Ms. Frizzle absolutely was the GOAT fashion influencer. Maybe you’re cosplaying as somebody into ska, or a Nickelodeon star, or a bus seat; no matter what you look DAMN good, and I love this for you.